History...

Its kind of hari ini dalam sejarah.
Jumpa sv 2 kali dalam sehari dalam 2 masa yang berbeza
sv2 jumpa pagi2 sebab memang plan asal meeting pagi... sv1 tak dapat join at the very last minute...
yg bestnya.. die siap call sv1 minta tolong handle me.. :D
lepas meeting cam rasa konpius etc
but still lega sebab ada juga insan yang highlights error yang tak patut aku buat kan...
Sessi petang...
Dengan konfidennya aku antar email kat sv1
tanya leh tak nak chit chat after office hour?
lepas 10 saat die reply... boleh! tapi lewat sikit sebab die tengah ade video conferencing.
Cam terkejut kejap... rasa happy and syukur sangat!
dalam kol 5.50 die datang
having a good and quality discussion for almost 20 minutes.
rasa kerdil diri ini bila Sv1 minta maaf sebab tak dapat join session pagi
aku sambil senyum (dan merendah diri) cakap
terima kasih banyak2 sebab sanggup datang lagi jumpa lepas office hours kan..
dah la Sv1 yang datang kat seat aku... huhuuhu 
Die explained semua sekali n rasa syukur n tenang sekali.
Terima kasih Sv1 dan Sv2
Not a long way to go
May Allah guide me through His path
Ameen Ya Rabb
By the way Congrats to Dr Kamilah (Exeter Uni) lulus her Viva... pas ni Mr Hubbynyer pulak... Dr Pie to go... last sekali nanti InsyaAllah sampai la turn aku ni... asyik main je keje kan... :P


Note: Sv1 - cikgu 1 Sv2 - cikgu 2 :D

Mum's Words

Home sweet home garden

One day whilst doing her own routine in our small garden, my mum said this...

"Nothing is impossible in this world as we are the one who make it to be a reality and not vice versa. God create us and give us brain to think and to explore every possibilities"

Then she smiles.

I almost stumbled whilst stepping on the reflexology stone [at the same time listening to my mum's words]

People and me : Malaysia

I keep updating myself with news from Malaysia. I read online newspapers and some blogs to further clarify certain issues. Utusan, Berita Harian, Malaysia kini, Harakah etc...

• It put me in baffled on which group should I trust? Seriously it put me in dilemma. If people take any initiative to read more and further investigates certain issues then it's fair to say that you have your own preferences! How about laymen?teenagers? How about people who are totally based on the rumors, sentiments.

• Most people judge the issues based on what they already believe or their perception about good and bad about something. Issues of morality for instance! If bad people represent the public than we have to reject and so on.... How about if good people represent the public but he/she do not reveal about his/her bad experiences before? How about bad people who revealed with honesty that he/she made big mistakes before and now would like to change and would like to represent the public? Do you want to deny his/her chance? Do you believe with second chance?

• Having different races, religion or beliefs does not mean that we can't live our life as a unite community. We shouted happily when Lee Choong Wei won the badminton tournament! We feel proud of Nicol David as World No 1 Skuasy player! We proud of our Harimau Malaya Football team! But when it comes to Politics we lose our faith of unity.  

• A good government able to help people and understand what are things that people really need. A good opposition acts as a counter balance on highlighting things that government do not fulfill or forget to fulfill.

• My sense: "Great" methodology in politics to convince people are work smart, deliver and produce.  It's not anymore with promising money, land or even facilities.  

• If people are really fanatics with political party... please be rationale. Nobody's perfect! Think before act.... Do your own homework to analyze whether it's true or not. Judge it based on the facts not based on your perception or word of mouth! 

• Do you think what we have now is still not enough? Enlighten me :) 

P/s : Sudden thought whilst configuring my study experiment :)

Humble thoughts from an ignorance student somewhere in Queen's land 

aahhhhhh

BACK TO PROGRAMMING STAGE [FULL STOP]

MOOD: [STRESS]

I need a break!!!! Ya Allah moga terus diberikan kekuatan..... This final hurdle is kind of challenging bit for me.
Usaha tangga kejayaan. Where there's a will there should be a way! So I'm still searching for the best way.... InsyaAllah.

Blur Malu entah

Kene tanya killer question bila meeting buat aku terdiam! I think 1st time ever in my life bila orang tanya aku tak boleh nak bagi jawapan... langsung! minda kosong! fikiran entah menerawang ke mana.... for the first 15 minutes aku berceletoh tentang apa yang orang dah buat dalam research bidang aku. Sv hanya senyum mendengar! rupanya semua tu mereka tidak mahu tahu...

"apa konsep kamu?" lantas ambil pen dan menulis sesuatu di papan putih....

Aku : hanya mampu tersengih! ( malu yang amat)

soalan mudah tapi sendiri mau ingat!

Spring or Winter

Tower Bridge

Still waiting...

The flowers starts to blooming all over the place.

with the warmth of sun

moisture of rain

until it you see how beautiful the petals are

with beautiful and aromatics scent

Officially it's spring...

But....

sadly it still feels like a winter... cold below 10 degrees...

some place still with snow up on the hill...

I miss my short and one piece of shirt! wearing slipper instead of shoes!

Still waiting....

Wedding

All

Uncle Musicians

Candy Buffet corner

Yummilicious

The deco

Deco 2

I like this the most

Tuan Tanah... Single and available :P

One happy family at home

Few weeks ago

My little a.k.a younger sister's wedding in kl.

I went back to kl my home town, my birth place.... People use to say "Home sweet home" Yes indeed... I have no doubt about it. It such a great moment to see everyone especially your mum. dad and siblings.

Alhamdulillah everything went smoothly, well organised and worked as planned. Thanks very much to all my uncles, aunties, friends, relatives and everyone who attended the wedding ceremony.

With the "Malay Traditional wedding" theme, I declared it as successful.

The decoration, musical instrument, the colors and even the costume .. I would say well-Done!

I have a created a desert corner... One section for "Teh tarik" one section for "Traditional and contemporary deserts" and one section for "candy buffet" that included... sweets, candy, jelly beans, jellies, chocolate fountain, marshmellows, fruits, chocolate cakes, cup cakes etc....

I've decorated these sections and also the 60 guest table with flowers ...

Tq to my neighbour and relatives for your kindly helps.

To abah and mama : congratulation for new son in law.

To my younger sister : congratulations for your new life as a wife... be brave.. :D

To my elder sister: I waiting for you....

To me: Looking forward to.... anyone? :P

Rambling

Still in queen's land :(

Conference

I am not so sure if this will become my last conference before I really focusing on my writing. I was offered by my supervisors to submit for Computer security Conference in Las Vegas, USA. I was very excited and been so blessed! Alhamdulillah. However, I might not going as apparently I had submitted my passport to Uk Home Office. The procedure will take approximately about a month or more. so in order for me to go to Vegas, I need to submit to US embassy earlier for visa purposes. I am speechless! [Fullstop]

Fruit picking ...

Suddenly I found these pictures!

I think this was captured few months back in Exeter. Fruit picking activities! eh... Before winter season ke heh?

It was fun and I really enjoy it very much.

I was so lucky because it was a sun shiny day!

Plymouth to Exeter roughly less than an hour by train... Then took a taxi to the specific location.

I google the place and found a good review of it.

Then Give a shot!

Best... nak pi lagi!!!!

p/s: angau tetibe nak update blog...

Bersawang!

Masa present paper kat Kingston, London

Bersawang!!!

Minta maaf sebab bersawang! tak terurus!!!! Blur...

kesibukan melanda.... dengan nak submit conference paper... dengan nak fikir eksperimen yang tak stop2...

Indah if study ni exam based!!! But i hate exam la pulak!

Let it be

And time goes by, so slowly... And time can do so much... Are you still mine?

This, to dedicate to my Mr PhD!

Struggling to get back the momentum! Programming...!!!

It never stop me to try and seek for solution....

and last it's almost done!!! chaiyokkkk Zafi!!

End of story!

Ramadhan

Ramadhan Kareem to all!

May Allah give His blessing for our good deeds during this holy month... Insyaallah

MIA as always.... i have been very busy lately!!

Im not going back to Malaysia this year.... :(

I wish I could be there with my family and friends...

My mission is not accomplished yet...

Take care folks...

How the other half live

I don't know but when I start to listen to this song .. I feel different...

How the other half live their life?

How I wish I could do something to make a world a better place to live...

Don't give in your life guys....

sigh...

Life is not that EASY

Back to my RHUL...

The lovely founders building... This was the first place that I went to register.... What a day!

It's kind of struggling ....
Limited time...
Work smart instead of hard...
Conferences... journals...
Writings.... Experiments...
= painful if unable to manage it properly...
I thank Allah for the courages and spirits...
Just a little bit more...
Never give up!

"Peram" story

Assalamualaikum
I’m back. It’s kind of playing “cak-cak” or like eating biscuit “ sekejap ada sekejap tak ade”. I have been struggling to finish my system development. Alhamdulillah, just waiting for the final approval to proceed and of course I will ask for all of you to help me. I’ll let you know the details later on. At the same time struggling to finish writing papers! Oh hectic!
Oh I have bought my new gadget! Ipad 2. I have to queue early and of course using my diplomacy and tricky method to buy 2 instead of one ipad albeit only one ipad per person! :D It’s super long queues with so many “geek “ people who can’t wait to enjoy the ipad 2. Instead of buying it directly from Apple store, I have decided to go to Pc World. Yet, it was a bit far from my place and I have to hire a taxi! I can’t imagine how excited all others to get a new ipad.
Please enjoy some lovely dovely pictures!
After using this ipad for few days, I presume it is a great gadget! Very sleek design with fast processor and you look super cool when using it :D It’s much lighter comparing the 1st generation of ipad. The new innovation that make people can’t wait to enjoy is for sure the front and back camera. So now you can use the facetime (Not really great pixel but it’s better than nothing). I think Apple might enhance certain features in the next series of Ipad. Or it will remain the same? Based on my reading from Internet, Apple had a typical problem with Camera Issues. But I’m not so sure whether this is fact or not! I back to defer!
It’s been 2 years in Plymouth now. I am enjoying myself and able to cope my life very well. It might be because I used to live in Uk before. Those experiences thought me to be a better person and be sensible on any occasion that I faced. Culture is not really a matter now comparing to the first timer people! I have met people who can’t even mix up with local people even afraid to speak English with them. Well they don’t bite you anyway. They will try to understand you at no cost!! Trust me, it might be difficult for you to understand them at first but then again through experience you learn how to be a good communicator! In a way, you have chosen abroad to pursue your study right? So bear with it! Learn and share the knowledge. Have fun and speak up!
Sooner or later I will be back to Malaysia. My country and the place I was born. Again mix feelings because I love to be in Uk and No doubt Malaysia. By any reason I think Malaysia will always be a better place to live…
Happily ever after.
Ameen Ya Rabb

oh weather a.k.a cuaca

It's weired
It's spring but the frigidity make me always wondering...
It's a sun shiny day, but I have no choice
still need to wear 2 pieces of clothes
No flip flops yet! No short!
I can't wait to enjoy the day Like I live my life back home In Asia..
My solemn promise!

"Siapa"

Dunia ini ibarat sebuah pentas. Punya penghujung ada turun naiknya.ada ruang untuk berlari juga untuk bersembunyi. Begitu juga kehidupan kita. Ada masa suka dan duka. Hari ini kita gembira sambil tertawa mana tahu esok kita berduka nestapa. Kita dijadikan untuk mengisi kekosongan dunia memeriahkan suasana. Bicara yang lebih tepat khalifah di bumi tuhan yang agung. Bermakna kita memegang amanat untuk melestarikan kehidupan yang sesungguhnya hanya sementara. Tapi kita selalu alpa.. kita seringkali leka... kita punya agama untuk disandarkan.. setiap baris kata tingkah laku berasaskan pegangan kita... baik dan buruk perkara, kita yang tentukan... kita yang sebenarnya memilih untuk menjadi "siapa" dan bukan orang lain. walaupun sudah ditentukan tuhan. Namun kita berusaha untuk menjadi "siapa" yang kita idamkan. Angan-angan "siapa" itu tidak mustahil untuk dikejar. Kudrat dan akal fikiran yang tuhan anugerahkan kenapa tidak kita manfaatkan? adakah terlambat untuk merubah "siapa" itu sekarang lantaran zaman muda mudah disia-siakan. Yang punya generasi, didiklah mereka agar mereka tidak tergolong di kalangan mereka yang leka. Bentuklah mereka agar perjalanan hidup mereka dari kecil penuh keindahan walaupun punya suka dan suka. Curahhkan kasih didikan sempurna sifat ihsan dalam melestarikan kehidupan agar "siapa" yang dipilih oleh mereka itu nanti tidak akan pernah dikesali.

To be or not to be

It's complicated...
Struggle until you find the solution..
At one time, you smile because everything "looks" fine
then again when you start to implement it...
something starts to ruin your life...
Hectic....
emotional....
Tired....

But one thing I learnt, to be or not to be
It's you to decide.
I mean if you know the problem then you'll find the solution
albeit it's taking so much of your time
Fight with your dilemma and never give up!
and up until now I can still keep smiling...
until i can see lights at the end of tunnel..
Sigh...

Ray of Hope...

I have never done this before. 4x meeting with my supervisors. Well frankly speaking you can’t set any appointment until you have something to present or something to talk about. At least some output from your reading or experiments. And meeting them made you shaking a bit! I am not local people and please note that English is not my first language. :D Alhamdulillah so far I manage to control everything and indeed improved my communication skills as well. Hectic week but a good progress! I strived to do the programming! The language of the exploration!

It happened! The dictatorship leader of Hosni Mubaraq should step down! This is requested by millions of Egyptian people. What will happen next? Do we want this to happen in our country? Do riots solve the problem since diplomacy unable to be used as a rationale platform? Or there is no diplomacy at all in Egypt? Wondering… and baffled! And now he did!!!

It’s a journey of life especially when you live abroad. I have been living my life in United Kingdom since 2006. I went back home for a while in 2008 and now return back to pursue my study. The journey that I have been through is not easy at all. Living abroad with differences of culture, ethnicity or background made me learnt to tolerate and to be sensible! When I was in London, I stayed in student accommodation. This incident still stood there on my mind! I was cooking anchovies and you Malaysian should know how it smells right? My flat mates (a British guy) suddenly pop up to the kitchen and quickly open the windows. He did ask me what’s cooking?? I said FISH (Instead of anchovies… Frankly speaking I forgot what’s “ikan bilis” in English that period of time :P so fish suddenly pop up into my mind) He said the smells was really bad! And I felt really guilty that time liked I did a really big mistake. Then again, another incident happened with the same person and at the same place. Suddenly it was a super hanyir(Fishy) in the kitchen! I just asked him what’s cooking then he replied pork with herbs! I said directly I don’t eat pork and I don’t like the smell but I can tolerate if you want to eat it. Moral values??


Now I am living in my own flat with a living room, 1 small bedroom with queen size bed, mini kitchen and quite nice toilet(Without bath tab ok) :P I would prefer to stay alone like this instead of sharing with other people. Well sometime you will need your own space. Doing PhD of course you really need your own space! Space to talk with yourself, space to think over the boundaries and space to relax! You make the mess then you clean it. There is no further argument with other people. You bear at your own cost! I loikeee!

Quick Glance

Thinking!!!!

I have a quick glance on my blog. These thoughts suddenly came out:-

Emptiness. It’s not because I don’t want to write something but too many things to catch up. It’s unfair isn’t it? Well I believe that everyone has something to do … something to ponder etc…
Sometime I wish I could just turn back time to my kids generation. It’s so lovely to seat back and relaxes and of course I don’t have to think about what to do next. I bet everything in my mind during that time is playing, eating and fun! But this ponders me again? How long am I going to be like this? (My imagination only)

Life is not so hectic. Up until now I can still see the path. I have to facing this fate as it is my choice. I should be thankful to Allah for His blessing. Not forget to mention my family and friends for your moral supports.

Marriage. I would like to Congratulate to best buddies Shena & Izwa + kak Joen & Farouk. How I wish to go back and attend your “Big Day”. I enjoy the lovely pictures and I bet you guys are really prince and princess that day! Take these responsibilities and be brave to sail away on your journey as husband and wife. I will have to wait for mine.

Emotion. It is likely steady and stable. Keep thinking over the boundary. I have been working hard I guess but I still consider it as not enough. I am not saying not to be thankful but I know I can do much better than this. I keep praying that I have enough strength and courage to go. InsyaAllah. I can still smile . A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks (Charles Gordy)

Coldness. It’s not about lacking of affection or enthusiasm! It’s really cold in Plymouth now. It keep me on and off for quite some time! It was so lucky as no more snow and icy roads. Well I would enjoy the snow fall moments but not when it starts to melt.

Faith. Have faith in our life.